When a couple separates, it may have a terrible effect on their children. Even if it does not become apparent right now, even you chose online divorce in Pennsylvania and your kid didn’t see the process of divorce physically, it will become obvious at some time in the future. If they are surrounded by the maximum degree of care from other family members, babies seldom notice and swiftly forget the absence of one of their parents by the time they reach the age of half a head. This is granted, however, that other family members are providing that care.
When a kid is between the ages of six months and two and a half years old and his or her parents are getting divorced, the youngster’s mood may experience significant swings as a result of the absence of either parent. Children might be at risk for serious cases of psychological shock between the ages of 2.5 and 6 years old. This is because their brains are still developing at this age. And, this is the period you may catch yourself thinking: «my son hates me after divorce». A child between the ages of 6 and 9 who are dealing with this issue may develop severe depression as a result.
Do you believe that everyone in your family is content? The harmony that existed within this triad may, however, be lost in the event that either one or both of the child’s parents chose to withhold their presence from their child’s life. What exactly is going on over here? In addition, what kind of implications does this have on the younger generation? Let’s discuss this with a licensed mental health professional.
Comes from childhood
According to the ancient Chinese philosopher Confucius, “Pleasure is when you are understood; great happiness is when you are liked, and pure happiness is when you love.” It would be fantastic if we could have harmonious connections with everyone else on the planet. Having said that, this approach isn’t going to work for everyone. Some individuals have good intentions to make positive changes in their life, yet they continue to find themselves in the same stressful situation over and over again. What exactly is going on over here?
The majority of our personality traits are formed throughout our formative years. We gathered our moral compass for life from our parents’ examples of how to relate to others, how to achieve our goals, and how to make sense of the world around us. As well as how you should treat the most essential person in your life – you. The perspective of a youngster is shaped by the relationships in his or her household. It’s also important how his parents interact with each other and with him.
Option 1. Everyone on their own
The child is estranged from both of its parents at the moment. When the father gets home from work in the evening, he is not bothered by anybody when he is in his house. While the children are entertained by cartoons, Mom spends her time on Facebook.
When a cub is expelled from the pack, he is left without someone from whom he may learn the skills essential to living on his own. The individual experiences the same thing, which is that they feel emotionally shut off from the world around them. It is hard for a child to acquire social skills if he is not exposed to the manner in which his parents communicate with one another and deal with challenging situations. As a direct consequence of this, these children will develop an interest in the natural world and animals.
Option 2. Dad + me
When the mother is not around, the child and the father will only communicate through this kind of connection. As he moves farther away from her, it is clear that he has no regard for her in the slightest. Girls will suppress their femininity in order to avoid being a target, just like a mother, and boys will emulate their father’s attitude and behaviors if he engages in this sort of conduct. When parents participate in this type of behavior, both boys and girls put themselves in danger.
Option 3. Mom + me
The kid exclusively communicates with the mother, the mother is kept apart from the father, and the father is kept in seclusion. It would be hard for the girl to establish her own sense of femininity if she were to grow up in such a family since she would always feel like an emotional extension of her mother. Because males are consistently devalued, a grown daughter will be unable to have an intimate connection because her mother will unintentionally forbid her to experience “adult sexuality.” This will make it impossible for her to have a romantic relationship. The child is brought up to be completely dependent on his mother during his formative years.
Option 4. Mom, dad, but not me
The relationship between the parents and the child is not as close as it once was. When a young man and woman make the decision to have a family, the child is often handed over to the care of the parents or grandparents. The father does not model appropriate parenting behavior, and as a result, the child subconsciously looks for someone to guide or instruct them. Unmanifested motherhood in youngsters can result in the development of a negative attitude about one’s own body as well as the child’s perception of themselves as a female.
The fate of the child can develop in two ways:
- If he was brought up by his grandparents, it is probable that he would either look for a partner who is quite a bit older than himself or completely avoid being involved in romantic relationships. if he was brought up by his maternal or paternal grandparents
- Because he is so responsible toward his babysitter, he matures much more quickly than his peers. It’s almost as if his childhood was stolen from him, and as a result, he would try to compensate for it by playing video games, working on computers, or gambling.
Option 5. We are together only because of you
The child comes first, even when the parents are at odds with one another and have discussed the possibility of getting a divorce. They are all able to talk to the baby at the same time without the baby being confused. The youngster’s feelings of guilt serve to reaffirm in his subconscious the beliefs that “I can’t make anybody happy” and “I’m too responsible for everything.” On the other side, he could be holding back a lot of anger at his parents, who may think «why my son hates me after divorce». This anger might be repressed. This kind of contact gives rise to the likes of academics, diplomats, and other high-level negotiators, among other professions.
Adults are strongly influenced by these relationships, even if they are rare. To get out of this situation, you must be alert. You must be able to recognize and articulate your feelings towards your parents. We can’t change anyone, not even our parents. But we may change our minds at any time. Recognize their love for us. Accept a degree of sloppiness from them. Imagine a new, more peaceful household. Your ability to speak effectively will help you to build excellent relationships with others.